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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Smiley & Grr-ified.

I finally meet a guy that I like, enjoy talking to, who makes me feel special.
And what happens? That MORON is brought up in conversation w/my bestie.
KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR?
He'd be lucky to be a One Night Stand Wrapped in Tin Foil!!!
Fuck him! Why he is so arrogant is beyond me. He needs to get over himself.
"What is her infatuation with me?" - Yeah, right. Someone's been bathing in bong-water because there ISN'T any INFATUATION with YOU! You make me sick!

I think I may be falling for someone and you think you're important to me? Oh please, get over yourself. You never had a clue. You never could...

J.R.C. --- thanks for making me smile; not too many people can do that.
A.G.F. --- get a life.

Nyx - ILY
Tia - ILY
Danielle - ILY
Meimei - <3>

Okay. Enough said. I feel better now. :P

Monday, January 24, 2011

School

My first Sociology class was on Wednesday. I don't think I'm going to enjoy it as much as I first thought. :( However, I have it again today. So who knows what's to come? Afterward is my first Acting class. And I have no idea what room it's in. Go figure.
Tomorrow is my first Philosophy class and I'm totally freaking out.
I miss the days of Creative Writing from my first semester.
I still have a few hours. Well, I should get to doing my hair & teeth & make up...
I am totally freaked out.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Jealous of Your Cigarette

Okay, I like the song as much as anyone... But why do people ever take up smoking, knowing what it does to their bodies? Even if one doesn't end up with Lung Cancer, there's still cancer of the Eusophagus (sp?), breathing problems, coughing, bad skin, messed up hair. terrible breath. ugly teeth. i just don't get it?

Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying I'd never smoke. Or that I never have. Both would be lies. However, if I wanted to quit I really could. I'm much more addicted to caffeine and my gum. :P

I just don't get why people do it to begin with. I understand why they continue, fighting an addiction (or stress) can be difficult... But why start knowing all there is to know?

Monday, January 10, 2011

Jealous of your Cigarette

Finally, after all this time, he starts to talk to me.
Man, he can twist me up. I'm so spastic. Anything just to talk to him.
I'm so messed up and I need serious help.
I can't wait til classes start so I can be distracted.
I keep fighting to be honest about my feelings with him.
That would be a disaster.

Talk Later,
Alz

Sunday, January 9, 2011

rambling and poetry

Don't wanna wait in line... I know who I am. I would never run away when life gets bad. I got nerve.

Sadly, I know who sings that. :(

As it is, I'm typing with my hand half asleep and can't stop thinking about my ex??? i'm not even sure i can call him that. my biggest issue with him is that i never know where i stand.
it's so irritating.
for the longest time i was in love with him. i never told him, of course.
that would be a huge mistake. he doesn't even know what he wants. *sigh*

sometimes i think i know exactly what is going on... other times i'm totally lost.

any spelling errors that occur are because i'm not looking at the screen. i refuse to. so here's hoping. sorry aunt sally if anything is wrng.

my head hurts
my heart bleeds
i feel like dirt
i don't feel a need.
my ache is all consuming
that's all i know right now
it's spooky and doom-like
like an interrupted flow.
my eyes stay closed
easier than seeing the turht before me
everyone seems to be opposed
to all these things i'm feeling...
wish i knew what to say,
what to do.
but it's all in my way...
everything i want to say to him... to you.
but it's stuck like virginity in a nun.
words are hiding in my throat.
with all these feeling sand people under the sun,
why can't i shout it out?
why do i have to fall for him?
he can't even be bothered
to remember my existence.
and everyone's opposed,
my mother, my father, my friends.

i hate this mess.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Livin' the Life

or not...

I'm just downloading videos and music today. Much like yesterday.
Except today, once I'm finished downloading, I get to convert them into files I can *use.*

OOOoooh. Exciting...

I would be on FB to see if Rowan or Nitia or ANYONE was online, but FB is having one of its "I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!" moments. So here I am.

I had a lot of fun at the bar last night and eventually I may even post the vids to youtube and FB as I've promised my sister I'd do. As it is, everything is slow and I feel lousy. Bad bad positions to be lying in for several hours, basically.

My classes start on the 19th... and I really don't care much. I'm only grr-ified because I still haven't been able to go and get my books!!! I'd really like my books, mother!

As it is, I'm overloading with ideas for vids. However, I still have around 30 that I need to upload to my LLF account. :/ So I should probably upload those first before making more. As it is I feel like my head is about to explode. I have a book I signed out from the Library.
it's good but I keep putting it down because certain characters aggravate me. LOL.

it's called Guitar Girl by Sarra Manning. (Yes, Sarra with 2 Rs)
it's based in Australia. something you should know before reading it if you're an American like myself. Otherwise you'll get a bit lost. LOL.

Just got through listening to Sharada by Skye Sweetnam. (One of my all time favorite songs)
also listened to The Faders... :D

as it is, i miss my sister terribly. though that'll probably change when i see her next. LOL :P
anyways. i have some issues to work out A.T.M. (at the moment)

L8r,
Alz

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Smirkingly Devilish Announcement...

I'm engaged... NOT!
But Danielle thinks I am, and it is just too funny to resist.
I was messing with her because she kept asking me "what's new?" about 30 times.
So I told her I was in a "long distance relationship" with a friend of mine who lives on a completely different continent.

And of course, she's buying it. and supposedly we're engaged. have been for 2 months behind her back. all of this without even HIS knowledge.

i sent him a message explaining it to him. so hopefully he knows i'm only joking. but those of you who are friends with me via facebook, ignore the relationship change. it's a total freaking joke. i swear.

i love it though. because only she would bypass all my mistakes in the story.

lol. it's so great. i love this friend of mine a ton... but not that way ( i don't *think* so, anyway) so hopefully he'll understand.
i have no idea if he reads this or not, but i know danielle doesn't unless i tell her to. lol. go figure. sorry for any spelling errors i'm working within a limited time area. :(

anyways, hopefully he'll be in for the joke. he's one of my best buds and i know i can rely on him. why else would i say him instead of - for instance - matt? alan? ross? robert? this is a long list but u get the point so i don't need to go on.

rowan - be my fake fiance' - lol. or not. it's all good with me. i got my laugh of the day with danielle. :)

forever smirking this day away,
ALae Kaattavery
aka
alanda bernadette-cheri mcrae
aka
alz
aka
AL
.........
alae-jain
:)

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy Friggen New Year! - Now Please Help -

Yes, I've made resolutions. Even managing to stick to them... so far.
However, I am extremely pissed off.
Not a good thing for any Rom/Wicce to be.

I'm trying to meditate into a state of calm.
That way, when I do the spell I'm planning, I know it won't go haywire on me.

I plan on performing it at 5 pm tomorrow evening. So kindly send me positive energy and thoughts. (Anything negative will only impede the point and serve to irritate me.) Negativity is pointless in and of itself.

It's a simple spell to speed up one's Karma. That's all I'm doing. I'm being a good Wicce and sticking to the "approved" spells. No hexes. No curses. Those are pointless and stupid things to even pretend to consider.

All I know is that no one deserves to wake up on the first day of the year to get hurt by someone they've seen as their friend for so long. I'm not just talking emotional hurt, either. I am including the physical hurt as well. It was uncalled for.

Save the dramatics for theatre & grade school. Otherwise, Karma can be quite the Bitch.