Thursday, October 11, 2012
I'm so sorry if "sorry" is something which goes without saying my life. I'm so sorry that I am "sorry" every damn day over one thing or another and, thus, saying the words don't mean anything to me anymore. They're just words. No matter what people say, apologies don't mean anything in the end if the people making the apologies are unappreciated and/or misunderstood. I'm so sorry I am incapable of doing anything right. That any time I try do something nice, it blows up in my face. I'm sorry if I am incapable of understanding body language & verbal tones. I'm sorry I refuse to cry in front of people who make me feel bad, simply because it isn't any of their business if I go beyond the "acceptable" level of such emotions. I'm so damn sorry there is no way of making myself relateable (sp?) or understandable. I'm sorry I seem unapproachable. I'm sorry I "make" you say what it is you want to hear from me. I'm so damned sorry my life is inconsequential to yours & everyone else in this god-forsaken world. I'm sorry I'm too stupid to ignore everybody's unforgivable cruelty. And I am so damned sorry I will never be forgiven for my mental instability which ruins me mentally, emotioonally, and physically Every Single Fucking Day! Tell me, have I made myself clear? ...Or are you all still trying to read between the lines?