Since The Beginning:

Friday, May 22, 2009

yeah...

my birthday party was pretty cool. there are videos on youtube from it. Lalahfreak is the user's playlist. yeah, mine. lol.

wish i wasn't so sad today. i should probably stop crying. Matt isn't talking to me right now and i don't know why. normally we just argue so like, what the heck? he's going to england in 3 days. so. that blows. better get me pix. i'm sure we'll be fine. we're supposed to hang out on Sunday.

Jack's online. hope he talks to me. I feel like crap. don't think i could take it if yet another friend didn't think i was worth speaking with.
apparently i'm not worth it.
it's been so long since i've had a real conversation. i love nyccie but if she brings up Twilight one more time. or jeremiah. or ex boyfriends. or her current ones, i swear. i'm gonna scream or hit her.

this summer i'm going to tennessee to hang out with my friend Danielle and Mark. they're engaged and supposed to get married next year.

i have about 2 or 3 weeks left to finish packing and i really should get around to that. i'm blonde now. it's weird. but i needed my hair lighter so i could dye it pink. hopefull i'll get that done before i leave. lol.

i miss my exboyfriend and i don't know how i feel about that. i know i'm in love with him but. he can't ever know that. cuz distance would kill me and i don't know how to overcome that right now...............................................

You Belong With Me: Lyrix

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see? You belong with me You belong with me
Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see? You belong with me
Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me You belong with me
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see? You belong with me
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with meYou belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe You belong with me You belong with me

SuperMan...You Belong With Me...

Jon. I miss him like crazy. He was my superman. Ya know? anyways. i hadn't heard from him in nearly 2 years and suddenly i get a request for an online chat... wish i'd been online when he sent me that request. believe me, i would've jumped at the chance to talk to him.
i hope he writes me back though. i emailed him, twice. the first was just one line and in response to the request. the 2nd one was slightly longer and had my cell number in it.
i hope he at least reads them. ya know? cuz i still love him. and it drives me crazy since we can't be together for a number of reasons...
for starters, i have no passport to move to canada with him......so that sucks.
plus i get sick too easily to move there anyhow. i'm going to tennessee for a while and won't be back for 3 months anyway... i'm going to college in the fall. so. this whole thing is a mess i guess.
but i do love him. a lot. and i tried to let him go but i got worried and i missed him and, truthfully, he's the only guy who made me feel loved in the first place. ya know?
so i'm gonna shut up now. since i'm sure this is really pathetic to the General Public... but yeah...
so, in case you're reading this, MUCH LOVE superman.

Friday, May 8, 2009

stand in the rain

by super chick.
i luv the song.
makes me feel better.
like sum1 understands ya know?
well i gotta get goin.
love yas.

-alanda

Party time?

okay. i love my mom. i don't like her all the time. but i love her.
now if only i could tell her to stop when she does things i don't like. but i can't cuz if i do she'll do one of two things:
yell and shout and get bitchy
or
cry and get depressed....


both are things i try to avoid...
------


tonite is my bday party. my bday was... eh.
hopefully people got the memo to bring stuff to burn.
lol.
hope it turns out alright.
wish me luck.
-alanda