Keep trying to find the words
to get these feelings off my chest
but my whispered screams go unheard
as I pound my fists then fade to rest...
Head is dizzy, spinning as I fall...
Douse these feelings with gasoline,
light the match and still feel small.
My true face is not yet seen.
Worry worry worry as I get
lost in my own head-space.
No one really, really, really frets
when I disappear... no trace.
Pieces falling in and out
no place to call theirs.
Shying away as they freak out...
they only pretend to care.
my fears, my place, my mind...
hidden in the recesses of my soul.
the world is altogether unkind;
tis nothing but a big black hole.
understanding is a myth,
love - nothing but an ideal.
grab some pills, down a fifth -
for this is the Fate of My Life to seal...
Fading into darkness where now there is but one...
One voice. Your voice. You are calling from the shadows.
You talk of worlds, moons, and suns...
and of secrets only you will ever know.
Talk of sunshine and secrets whispered shall not save me.
The pills were many and the vodka high in proofs.
Yet, to my surprise, I learned something revealing...
For it was not the Dark of Death which set me free, no.
For this night as I lay dying on the roof, watching the stars blink out of existence,
it was your talk of sunshine and moonbeams which sent me reeling...
Your attempts to make a Deal with Death
make me grateful to have known you.
Still you try to save me, on behalf
of my pitiful soul. Still I'll smile...
What else is there to do?
The world makes no sense and I'm at peace with that,
for I will soon be at peace with my world.
No longer will there be a past or future tense to reminisce about.
I watch the stars blink out, losing sight of your eyes as well...
I am afraid of losing you more than I am my mortal soul to Hell.
The wind is dying down to silence; have I lost my ears?
The whisper of your voice, your sobbing, quiets til there is nothing left to hear...
You are gone away from me; I am here all alone...
My biggest fear brought on by darkness, I shall never make it home.
Thank you pills and proofs and weakness... I am now enveloped...
What I thought to be more truly was nothing more than less...
SHIT!
Yeah, I said...
Thank you pills and proofs and weakness... I am now enveloped by the darkness...
What I thought to be more truly was nothing more than less...
~Alanda McRae~
