Saturday, July 31, 2010

oh boy

so i still haven't gotten any sleep since i woke up yesterday.
after 2 weeks without, karaoke was finally back and i was beyond happy to hang out with T and get out of the house. She's gonna (supposed to anyways) come over today to help me, of all things, clean my room. She is just that great a friend. Most friends would drag you away from that, but I guess she understands my plight of laziness???. L>O>L>!
Also, she has decided to go with me to RenFaire tomorrow! I am totally stoked and cannot wait at all. I'm trying to decide what I'll wear and if I should do laundry on top of everything else. It's magic weekend so that is even cooler. I wish sis could come with us but idk with how tired she's been lately. I don't think I'll ever get rid of her, to be honest. I love her and I know she should go to college. but she just keeps letting things slip by til it's too late. and that is not a good thing...
well, i'm gonna go check my facebook!

back track part 2

7-30-2010 Friday
2:37 AM

This is total bullshit. My sister didn't know about mom losing our monthly income. As if we didn't have enough problems already. She's been really stressed lately, but I'm still always surprised when she has a meltdown. She really needs to talk to one of her friends. Pity that they are all online. Aren't all the best ones?
We are going to try see if there's still WyFi outside the library at this time of night. That way she can at least try, ya know? She really needs to vent and I'm so not in the mood for this bullshit, either.

I wanna go out for karaoke but I'm not sure if T* and I are still on for it, or even if it's gonna happen at the bar... I just feel like shit.

I understand how Meimei feels. It's as though, without our access to the outside world, we are being put into a box and left to being forgotten at the back of a dark, dusty closet. I don't like that feeling. But I've got it now...


7-30-2010 Friday
3:34 AM

Well, sis has several she can connect to. I'm sitting right next to her and cannot get any signal. This is extremely screwed up. Guess I'll go listen to some music and make another vid for youtube just to annoy the hell outta people. Really hope someone has said something about my status on Facebook about Renfaire. *lips pout* if not, i'll cry.


back track part 1

7/29/2010 Thursday
5:36 AM

Mom never paid the phone bill so we have lost our internet along with our telephone connection.
(Nice of her to eff with my credit!)
I'm writing this because I need something to do. Normally I play tetris online but... I guess not this time.
I didn't realise it at the time, but I now know that I am a Facebook addict. Wouldn't it figure?
It's sad since there's nothing really to do on there.
I can't help if I love reading my friends' statuses.
Or commenting on their photos.
Having verbal wars via comments on their status.
I was an addict of Farmville, but I'm over that. Bejeweled is still great, though.

I am obsessing on finding someone to go with me to Silverleaf. I have a ticket but I don't want to go alone. So if anyone is going this weekend (or next), please get ahold of me and let me know. It'd be great to have someone else there, too.
I loved it when I got dragged by my 'rents. Of course, I ran into Jenny and mostly avoided them... Plus, I talked with Cameron & Austin when they were on break.
Lots of fun! Hob the Troll is hilarious, so if you are attending at all in the future, I highly reccomend his show! (Rogue Blades are also extremely hilarious! And you can't forget about Thomas Wood- the fire eater/juggler!)

I currently have no life because my job applications are being ignored thanks to economical bullshit. My lovely Financial Aid hasn't come in yet, so that's fucking lovely.

I'm going to go mental, I swear. On the upside, I reconnected with an old friend. So that's nice. Tony is a sweet girl. When she wants to be, lol. :)
I'm just kidding, she's cool... Tony isn't her real name but I won't use her real name, just in case people start to bug out on me.

D* is currently obsessing over some guy named Brandon. She is really needy and I'm not sure I can handle listening to it much longer. M* only left her 2 weeks ago, give or take a day. The whole thing is a mess. (I personally believe that D* should've kicked M* out on his ass instead of him leaving her, but what the fuck do I know?!) So M* is a lying, cheating, dirtbag. D* is emotionally broken, needy, irritated by her know-nothing family, and clingy as hell to this guy she's only chatting with...

*T's step-dad is an asshole, no news there. But he went way to far this last time. I mean, he almost wrecked her birthday and he had the nerve to kick one of their dogs!!! I was sooo angry when I heard about this. I haven't gotten to talk to her about it yet thanks to the trouble with our connections.
I wonder if she's having doubts about moving in September. I mean, I know I would feel bad leaving the little girls with someone who is so cruel/rude/an asshole... (her lil sisters) Knowing her, she'll still go.

Amanda is really irritated with the whole thing. Not that I blame her. She was really looking forward to celebrating Harry Potter Day... Not so much now that everything got effed up...

I'm tired, I won't sleep though because I slept for about 12 hours when I got home today. Oh well. I'm going to go listen to music and maybe write a song...?


an email to my friend

Getting a job is past hard and now nearly impossible. i'm actually considering losing weight and becoming a stripper... not that anyone would hire me but it'd be better than nothing.
The whole thing with losing the internet leads to me writing more blogs and creating more vids for youtube. As if I didn't make enough already. I don't really update my blog that much though, so that's something. It's losing the phone that pisses me off the most. I may be a facebook whore, but that I can ignore/go to the library for. it's a bit more difficult to call someone to make sure ur plans are still on without a phone to do so... agh it's so irritating. losing the internet is hell on my sister though because it's the only way at all that she can converse with her friends. so it's like being shut away in a box, taped up, and locked in a dusty attic... totally alone and forgotten. as u can see, i understand her problem.
I didn't stop writing on purpose. I just lost my muse I guess. I couldn't think of anything to write about. Those stories are the last ones I finished. It was semi-important to me, yes. BUT the most important thing to me was-is-always will be : MY MUSIC... i may not be able to play any instruments but i sure as hell can sing my heart out. and i won't quit braggin bout it either. lol. i used to write my own songs but... they are starting to sound like something a thirteen year old would say. ugh. jonas brothers/hannah montana/beiber bullshit UGH... idk. maybe i can fuck around with the stuff later. maybe i'll even be smart enough to remember to send you an audio or 2.
You aren't the only one who needs to get her life straightened out and started... i don't think i'm putting it off so much as stuck in a rut where i don't have an outlet for anything. which sucks just as much. my friend is gonna teach me how to drive but idk when she'll have the time to do it. then i can HOPEFULLY get my license.
Right now, though. I just wanna go to Ren-Faire next weekend (i'd prefer this one but i'm not gonna be hopeful) and see Hob the Troll perform. LOL... (he's cute, too. for a troll.) and maybe i'll hang out with cameron, my cousin's boyfriend. he's a hottie but i'll be good. lol. since my cousin is psycho. i'm sooo not dating right now. half convinced i won't ever start again. everyone around here are total ass-hats, dumb-fucks, dirt-bags, morons, psychos, trash-talkers, or possessive... not to mention the insensitive, intolerant, prejudicial, religious loons...
i am sooo passing right now. unless the right person comes along but THAT will never happen. not around here, anyway...
okay, i'm rambling. time to shut up.

Friday, July 16, 2010

little miss apathy

i am in the worst mood ever. people are fucking stupid. yeah, i don't care.
phoenix is leaving in september so... fun.

danielle and mark are no longer together b/c he cheated on her 3 times.

my family fucking sucks ass. and i hate everyone.
they can all jump off a cliff. every one. seriously. idc if that's unkind. just go the fuck away and leave me the fuck alone. if you can't respect me, then don't pretend you care about me...

Sarah is prego and due in December.
I may or may not be going back to college. I hate it there. But I hate it here too.

I just want to get the fuck out of this place. . .

at whatever cost necessary.

i don't care how much weight i have to lose.

i don't care if i have to be a fucking damned stripper at this point. i just need to get the hell out of here.

the world sucks. everyone sucks.

fuck you all. hasta!