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Thursday, December 23, 2010

Breif Update

Watching the latest Epi of Bones... Totally freaky.
I'm about 1/3 of the way in, but it's still kind of sad. You know?

Anyways, I checked my grades and it's Holla Time! LOL.

B+'s in English and Lit.
A's in Psych & Algebra.

So that's cool.
My head is killing me, though. So yeah, I'll say more later.

Can't wait to see my Winter Presents. (Xmas is so overrated.)

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dawned On Me


I just realised that this is going to be (most likely) the last day I post on here for 2010... Amazing how everything just flies by, isn't it?
I have posted several videos to youtube commemorating Rabbit Hole. This is a group on facebook dedicated to our personal little group. The metaphor should be obvious and simple but not in all cases, I suppose.
You join our friends and you'll be down the Rabbit Hole and into a whole world of adventure, for we are just that great! Tell me... are you brave enough to be the next "Alice?"

Moonrise Madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8p3LSZF9DhA

The above link is to a cover of Fireworks by Katy Perry.
I thought it was pretty good and decided to have you all check it out.

Facebook is being wonko. Youtube isn't uploading some of my vids.
And my head is about to explode.

I took my last Final today. :)
However, I can't leave campus until I attend my last class tonight.
I have to in order to get my essay back. I already know my grade.
I got a D-. The cranky, pretentious, perfectionist of a teacher clearly didn't like it.
Oh well. I still get to pass with a B+ average.
:P
nanah!

The guy from my Psych class that I like so much is in the library. Right now.
I can't see him, but I feel it. Idk how weird that is, but it's true, nonetheless.

Oooh. He's talking. I can hear his voice. Now I at least know I'm not crazy.
The guy is so great. Wonderful voice, very gorgeous. Great personality.
I don't know. He makes me feel nervous, though. So I know I'm not going to get up the nerve to do anything about it. This is just a good thing anyway because it saves him the energy of having to say no and come up with a cheesy excuse. I don't know why I always am so down on myself.
He even said to me once that I need to be more confident. :/
I'd write his name, but then the whole world would know. Lets not do that to myself.
87 more minutes until I go to class, walk by the hottie, and grab my essay. Not in that order, but still. Of course, I think he's going to leave before me, so maybe not. I don't know. I think he just left. I must be crazy. It certainly feels like I'm crazy...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

oh the Madness

some things just get far too out of control.
i am so extremely tired of all the drama.
you try to speak your mind and be honest, and then the other person makes a big deal out of it. they twist it to suit their own views. and it makes me so sick.
and we're supposed to be all nice to eachother because it's the holidays?
i wish that were a good enough reason.

i'd say more on the subject, however i'm uploading more vids to youtube.
then i'm logging off to go get scrips picked up. which aren't even mine.

hope my sister enjoyed her plane ride.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Psych...

I have class in half an hour. Our groups present today.
I am totally freaked.

On the upside, I got an 86 on my math test. Thought I did better, but oh well.

I am now going to go put makeup on in the hopes it will boost my confidence.

LOVE YOU ALL!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Mother Nature is competing with Satan (Thnx Rowan)

Or it would seem that way. If you live in Michigan, you'll know what I'm saying.
The very first DAY of December and you wake up to the ickyness. I have a calendar; I don't need Her to tell me what time of year it is.

Today is Kami's birthday! Hope she enjoys it. Same to you, Noel!

Tomorrow is my "ex"es (?) birthday. But who cares? I hate that I still remember that, though.

I have around 7 or so journal entries I need to do for Psych class. Plus, I need to be calm Monday. We present that day in that class.
I have a Final and a Response Essay to write for Lit class.
And also I'm attempting to write a Definition Essay (my Final Exam basically) for English. Wouldn't you know that I'm stuck defining LOVE.?>?>>? !

I hate this. I hate it so much.
Thankfully, I have plenty of lyrics to quote. LOL!

Ugh. I just want to go home. But I'm waiting for Robert to find out if he needs me to bug mom for a ride. :/

I miss watching T.V. and being able to relax.
I want to watch Castle. And Bones. And more Buffy re-runs.
If you are on my Facebook, feel free to read the note labeled "my response to rowan's "meh" "
lol. it's pretty good thanks to my answers.

Class doesn't get out for another hour. But I'm going to leave early.
Robert got his ride, he doesn't need me.
Danielle has disappeared again, so whatever.
I'll bug her later I suppose...

I wish Rowan was still on so I could at least say goodbye to him. *sigh*
That guy is one of the most spectacular people I know. I just hope he knows that.

I have a lot of issues I should be dealing with. But, of course, I'm putting it off in favor of blocking my thoughts/feelings away with homework. Homework I can't enjoy.
Figures. I mean, who actually LIKES "Othello" ? It's a total fruitcake of a play.

Shakespeare was a genius. Yes. But he was also long-winded.
King Lear, I enjoyed. Hamlet was amazing. Romeo & Juliet was irritating but good. But this is just too effed up. Oh yeah, Midsummer Night Dream was nice too. lol. sort of.

Psychology should be easy, if I ever motivate myself to do it.
I'm totally freaking out because on the 14th I have to do my presentation in Lit class. :/
I'm so not comfortable with public speaking.
Singing is easy. Dancing, maybe. But not just TALKING... *shudders*


Anyways, I'm going to end this with saying "Thank You!" to several folk.

First:

Danielle - thank you for being my bestie. you always will be, you really DO know too much. besides, you're always there for me.

Nitia - thanks for understanding me, even when you don't you always get it. lol. even that you'll know what i mean. and thank you for always being honest with me. you can't say that about a lot of people.

Nyccie - thanks for helping me with an escape route. it's nice to leave the rabbit hole every once in a while. even if your family doesn't approve of me, I can always count on you.

Aunt Sally - thanks for reading this. it's nice to know somebody does. :)

And I've saved the best for last!

Rowan - thanks for making me feel better when i need it. you are one of the few who can make me laugh/smile. thanks a million for putting up with me - most people aren't that capable. and also, thanks for supporting me with my writing and my music. you'll always rock for that. now, before i start sounding like a stalker (a really GOOD stalker since we LITERALLY live on different continents,) i'm going to shut up. :)

P.S. for Rowan --- if u ever need a reason to smile, just remember that you'll always be one of my favorite sex dreams... after all, you do have "Magick Hands" :)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

OMFG People are SO STUPID!

"You know what, I don't want to hear whatever it is on your guilty conscious. I am staying out of all this damn drama and I don't need drama in my life. As for whatever erin does that is between me and him and everyone else needs to stay the hell out of it. Good day to you."

Must she be so stupid? Fine, I don't care. If he had the balls to tell her the truth for once, she'd be angry at me for not telling her. So what the fuck EVER. But it became my business, no matter what she says, when he decided to start messing around on my baby brother's bed. And so help me if I ever hear him talk about my sister like that again. I see him near her and I don't care what jail is like. I'll beat the fuck out of him.
Those 3 drama-tweens can just grow the fuck up already. So what if he's 24 next month? So what if Kensee is 20 and a drunk who can't take care of her kid? So what if Bailey is a bitch who should know better? So what?! I quit trying to look out for other people. They don't want drama, then why do they create so damned much of it? They want "happy-ever-after," then why do they cheat/lie/distort/and ruin it?
11 years of friendship, you'd think that idiot would know me better by now. No, he's an idiot.
I know he's been talkin' shit behind my back. I didn't start any damned rumors. I only ever tell the truth because lying is pointless. It just bites you in the ass later. Rumors are lies and distortions. I tell facts. If I was gonna start saying anything about ERIN MAL KILLEY'S latest slutfests, I'd go straight to his baby-mama. You know, the one person who should know?! But no, he talks shit instead of locating his spine and just telling her the TRUTH! And they're the ones saying they don't want drama? Bullshit. They're the ones who start it in the first place.
I have better things to do with my time than waste it on that back-stabbing, moral-less, lying, slut. I never said a damned word about him (until NOW). So how dare he try to ruin my reputation!
He'll never say anything to my face because he's a coward! I hope he reads this. Because I don't care. But if he doesn't stop his lying and his whining, I'll sue his ass for Slander, and he'd better know it, too.
He starts in on me because he can't grow a pair and talk to my mom about what she did and what he thinks. He has sex in our apartment knowing that mom doesn't want that shit goin' on in the house. Especially not in our BATHROOM, the fucking freak! Then he finger-bangs that dumb slut on my little brother's bed and has the nerve to talk shit to ME? I don't fucking think so. I don't care if Bailey doesn't wanna know. I have video of that shit and I have ZERO problem sending it to her.
She can think anything she damn well pleases at this point. I'm not the one who lies to her face constantly. I'm not the one who cheats on her with their roommate! I'm not the one who does shit in their apartments and house. So fuck her, I was just trying to be her friend. She sure as hell isn't going to find someone who is HALF as good a friend as I am. So screw them all!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

F^KN PPLE FKN DRAMA FkN Stupid Shit

"as for the gas thing i need it to take u gays and i need to make sure my son is taken care of that is why if u cant understand that then u no nothing bout being a perent and will never no so whatever."

this is from a girl who owes me 50$. has owed me. i'm letting her take her time paying me back BECAUSE of her PRECIOUS SON. yeah, he's so precious she forgets his bottles and formula at other people's houses and leaves it there for over a week because she's too fucking lazy to do anything about it.
if you can't pay someone back, here's a clue, DON'T BORROW FROM THEM AND SAY YOU'LL PAY THEM BACK!
it isn't rocket science. and how does the stupid bitch know if i'll never be a parent? at least i can fucking spell and i'm not a stupid slut who goes around sleeping with the first guy to pay her a compliment. no. thank you. and i know my tenses and whatnot aren't matching up but i'm angry. she should know me better than that by now.

at least if i'm with a guy, i know if it's a real relationship or not. and i know if the guy is a prick. and i know if it's a one night stand. and i KNOW who the daddy of my baby would be. i'm not fucking easy like that.
and i also know better than to fuck around with people who are already with someone else. especially if i'm stuck living on their couch. yeah. that's right!

if you manage to piss off my mom then you know you're fucked. oh the temptation to call her in to CPS and have him place with his grandparents. oh the temptation to call up bailey and tell on HIM. oh the fucking temptation.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

College is MindBlowing...

My brain feels like it's about to crumble from too much information. Most of it I know I won't use later in life. Most of it I'll probably forget, actually.

My friends are freaking crazy. They are all trying to get at eachother with biting remarks and I'm sick of being in the middle.

I have way too much homework to do and it's making me crazy.
Karaoke night is the only thing i look forward to and i hate when no one is with me.
i always feel guilty b/c i should be doing my work.
i'm always 3 steps behind and rushing everything I do.
I don't like feeling this way.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Whatever

SO! I was assigned to look up information about Ursula K. LeGuin. Seems cool enough. Except that all the sites with more than just her biography aren't allowed because they aren't EDU sites. they're all dot coms and the like. which is makin me crazy.
how am i supposed to get 12 slides out of that?

An Hour to Kill

I don't have class until 6. I've done my homework for that class, no biggie. Don't really feel like thinking about the homework I've got for my other classes. It makes me feel sick.
Psychology was canceled Monday b/c the teacher had some family thing.
Math is boring the hell outta me. Lit sucks because we've finished the poetry portion and are now heading on to the Short Stories section. Which means : PRESENTATIONS.
Why does the Earth never open up and swallow you whole like you wish it would?
As much as I don't care about things, I hate to speak in front of people. I am terrible w/the whole Eye Contact part b/c, really, who gives a fuck? No one is paying attention anyway, why would u wanna look at them and SEE that? i mean, not exactly a way to inspire confidence. the only good thing about today is that i woke up late and STILL managed to get to class on time. early even. plus there's this really cute guy working at the Library desk that i can see through the glass in this cubicle. yeah, a cubicle. as if having to work wouldn't suck already, we have to feel like we're working even now. it sucks.
wow, i need to broaden my vocabulary. but i'm just so damned tired.
and i have a headache and the sky is all gloomy and cloudy and gah.
stupid weather. man he is cute. in a side-path, off-beat sort of way. you know, like he has NO IDEA that he is cute b/c it isn't a Traditionally Obvious way? Yeah. anyways. wow i've been typing a whole 6 minutes. this is gonna take a while.

and all because FACEBOOK is having issues with its SERVER.... AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!

Too Much/Not Enough,
Havoc

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

College

ugh i just finished registering for classes.
and i wasn't able to take Philosophy or Easy Spanish like i wanted to...
and it's all mom's fault for takin so long to take me. :(

Grr.

so i'm stuck instead with a lit course
and psychology. *fingers crossed*

i need all the help i can get.

i'm gonna go talk to cameron and j* and daydream about robert. :) yes i'm a freak.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

update 2

hey it's 4:40 am Friday the 6th, of August 2010.
so i'm in the middle of a total meltdown. i thought i was going to make it through this without one,
but i looked at the date wrong and saw the 6 upside down as a 9.
needless to say my anxiety kicked in before my brain
figured out why, or even that the numbers were wrong.
i've been crying for about 30 or so minutes.
i'm totally freaked out, sad, and pissed off. this just
isn't fair. i was so hopeful that i would get through
it this year. but nope, that was just too much to hope
for. fuck you cruel world.

the sickest part is, there's only 2 people i feel
comfortable talking to about this. one is so busy
with her new boyfriend that she wouldn't even notice
if i broke down in front of her, least of all figure out why.
which is so fucked since she is the first/only person i told. other people know, but they figured it out.
i ran to her for help with it when it first happened.
literally ran all the way up town just to cry on her
shoulder.
the other person i talk to about this, her mom hates me
so we can't see e/o that often. the whole thing is fucked.
and my mom is mad at both of them. so i'm eternally fucked.
and i don't feel comfortable re-telling the original story to someone, not even T* or Killey or Cameron,
just so i could break down on their shoulder...
and i hate it so much because i just wanna cry all the time.
i don't wanna talk about it. i want to pretend it never happened. just forget about it. but damn it. whenever the 9th rolls around, i remember. i have nightmares at random through-out the year. but i've gone 4 months w/o them so i thought i was okay...
but nope, guess not. and i know, i just know, that if i go to sleep... i just don't wanna remember the details. i don't wanna remember anything...
great. i started crying again. i was hoping that typing this down would get all this out. i guess not.
nothing is ever that simple, is it?
i hate this. it's been 3 days short of 3 years. and people wonder why i don't date... well guess what! this is why... i hate trying to get over it. or even pretend that i am.
it just never stop... i don't think it ever will at this point.
it scares the hell out of me that i could really be so alone. i know i'm not. there are others out there like me. i'm in groups online to prove that. but it just is nowhere near the same. and i hate it. i hate it so much. i know hate is a strong word, but the truth is that it doesn't come close to explaining just how much i loathe this feeling. D* or Nyx, if you've read this, please come over. To hell w/what my mom thinks on the matter. If i'm still online, check the library. if not, the apartment.
i'm not sure i can get through karaoke night tonight, T*. but i'll try for your sake.

Eeyore in a Box with The Creeper,
Havoc

update 3

9:38 pm august 7th, 2010 saturday

i'm sitting over on T*'s couch. Killey is playing Res Evil 4... *eyes roll*

T* had a frog/toad inside. it was so cute. til i remembered science class.

so i'm drinkin killey's soda and waiting to go home since the RenFaire is tomorrow morning.

"Good morrow" yes it will be.

ugh. this game, like so many others, is makin' me sick.
damn things anyways.

i'm hungry again. got here at like 5ish for their dinner. aka my breakfast.
so yeah i guess it makes since, right?

i'll raid the fridge in a sec if it's ok w/T*.
till then, maybe my head will stop spinning.

i shouldn't feel so sick if i'm technically fine.

whatever,
Havoc

update 1

10:45 pm
8-4-2010
Wednesday


Killey can be so sweet sometimes. He offered to pay
for half of my ticket to go to Renfaire this weekend.
But I don't know where I'd get the other half so I guess
I'll just decline...
*sigh*
It's become like an addiction or something. Wouldn't you
figure? Oh well, there's still karaoke. Watch me not
sing because of my tooth. I've had issues pronouncing
my words correctly ever since it happened.
It's like my lisp is coming back and that really upsets
me.

On top of everything, I had this weird dream about all
the Star Trek series mixed with Stargates and Firefly... which suddenly transversed to us all at the renfaire watching Killey throw knives. I am so confused on what that one means. And this is before I found out Killey was going with T* to the R.F.

My head is spinning so it's time to go find liquids.

Not enough time,
Havoc

Rowan




If I ever need a smile, I know exactly who to go to. He can always make me laugh. And he can be incredibly sweet. i really hope you all can read that... it is just so nice to know things can be appreciated. (i had a diff prof pic when he first said it than what is shown.)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Vault

Okay so I'm at T*'s place since she'll be moving next month (sad face). Killey is with us. We are recording everything that is going on for sake of the Vault but there isn't much going on since, somehow, we are being extremely quiet. we'll look back on this day and hear keyboards, bad music, and videogame sounds... hardly any talking is going on at all.

Tomorrow we run away to RenFaire (yes I got the money somehow) and I am totally excited. I've already been twice, I know, but how can I help it?! RenFaire is simply awesome. Like a drug!

Killey is such a sad panda. It's funny there's a cult in his honor. (I.L.K. on myspace!)(I Love Killey)... there is also Killey_Erin_is_a_great_friend on facebook. man we are mental.

http://www.myspace.com/havocangelmusic/

I keep listening to music on that page. And the entire time T* is telling me which songs they are... funny since I wrote them and I should know that. Yet, I don't. LOL!

I can't wait til tomorrow. I'm thinking of taking a nap on her couch while they play video games... IDk.

and I just did a yawn * stretch... now i'll rub my eyes and wake up, right? lol. i hope anyway. nope.

Troll Faced,
Havoc

Friday, August 6, 2010

Grr

I typed my original blog entry at 4 am this morning but it won't let me simply copy and paste it. so i will upload it at another time. as i am not in the mood to rewrite something that long.

if i can come up with 3 dollars by sunday, i can go to renfaire w/killey and tia. yaaaaay us. i really wanna go. assuming i can keep from having a meltdown. monday is gonna suck.

yeah i'm not sure i wanna say much more than that since i'm sitting in the public library uptown, ya know?

Monday, August 2, 2010


8-1- 2010 2:47 AM


I am eagerly awaiting the time when I am to get up, get dressed, and get going. I am going to the RenFaire today with T* and I am so enthused. Watch something happen to F*ck it up. I am sooo waiting for the other shoe to drop. time to listen to music. good night everyone.


Energetically yours,

Havoc


-------------


RENFAIRE WAS AWESOME! I loved it yesterday! We saw Hob the Troll & the Rogue Blades twice. they were that awesome. and hung out w/cameron. saw savvie. D* was with us for a while but she got distracted. Ugh. She is so making me sick right now. Saw Robert there again. he is so adorable. oh well. anyways. austin hung out w/us for about half the day. that was different. i didn't eat much. drank lots of water. walked all day. and wound up gaining 15 pounds somehow by the time i got home. i'm still confused. oh well. saw the fireeater twice, too. the second time we only saw about 5 minutes of his show cuz we got held up leaving the Rogue Blades. :( oh well. the RogueBlades were AWESOME though. and we talked w/everyone before finally getting mom to drive us home. lol. I was so serene and happy on the way home. i fell asleep after dropping D* off at home. Woke up several hours later in the car and dragged myself upstairs to upload all the photos... i wish you were all there for it!

Saturday, July 31, 2010

oh boy

so i still haven't gotten any sleep since i woke up yesterday.
after 2 weeks without, karaoke was finally back and i was beyond happy to hang out with T and get out of the house. She's gonna (supposed to anyways) come over today to help me, of all things, clean my room. She is just that great a friend. Most friends would drag you away from that, but I guess she understands my plight of laziness???. L>O>L>!
Also, she has decided to go with me to RenFaire tomorrow! I am totally stoked and cannot wait at all. I'm trying to decide what I'll wear and if I should do laundry on top of everything else. It's magic weekend so that is even cooler. I wish sis could come with us but idk with how tired she's been lately. I don't think I'll ever get rid of her, to be honest. I love her and I know she should go to college. but she just keeps letting things slip by til it's too late. and that is not a good thing...
well, i'm gonna go check my facebook!
LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-havoc

back track part 2

7-30-2010 Friday
2:37 AM

This is total bullshit. My sister didn't know about mom losing our monthly income. As if we didn't have enough problems already. She's been really stressed lately, but I'm still always surprised when she has a meltdown. She really needs to talk to one of her friends. Pity that they are all online. Aren't all the best ones?
We are going to try see if there's still WyFi outside the library at this time of night. That way she can at least try, ya know? She really needs to vent and I'm so not in the mood for this bullshit, either.

I wanna go out for karaoke but I'm not sure if T* and I are still on for it, or even if it's gonna happen at the bar... I just feel like shit.

I understand how Meimei feels. It's as though, without our access to the outside world, we are being put into a box and left to being forgotten at the back of a dark, dusty closet. I don't like that feeling. But I've got it now...

Restless,
Havoc
---------------

7-30-2010 Friday
3:34 AM

Well, sis has several she can connect to. I'm sitting right next to her and cannot get any signal. This is extremely screwed up. Guess I'll go listen to some music and make another vid for youtube just to annoy the hell outta people. Really hope someone has said something about my status on Facebook about Renfaire. *lips pout* if not, i'll cry.

Frustrated,
Havoc

back track part 1

7/29/2010 Thursday
5:36 AM

Mom never paid the phone bill so we have lost our internet along with our telephone connection.
(Nice of her to eff with my credit!)
I'm writing this because I need something to do. Normally I play tetris online but... I guess not this time.
I didn't realise it at the time, but I now know that I am a Facebook addict. Wouldn't it figure?
It's sad since there's nothing really to do on there.
I can't help if I love reading my friends' statuses.
Or commenting on their photos.
Having verbal wars via comments on their status.
I was an addict of Farmville, but I'm over that. Bejeweled is still great, though.

I am obsessing on finding someone to go with me to Silverleaf. I have a ticket but I don't want to go alone. So if anyone is going this weekend (or next), please get ahold of me and let me know. It'd be great to have someone else there, too.
I loved it when I got dragged by my 'rents. Of course, I ran into Jenny and mostly avoided them... Plus, I talked with Cameron & Austin when they were on break.
Lots of fun! Hob the Troll is hilarious, so if you are attending at all in the future, I highly reccomend his show! (Rogue Blades are also extremely hilarious! And you can't forget about Thomas Wood- the fire eater/juggler!)

I currently have no life because my job applications are being ignored thanks to economical bullshit. My lovely Financial Aid hasn't come in yet, so that's fucking lovely.

I'm going to go mental, I swear. On the upside, I reconnected with an old friend. So that's nice. Tony is a sweet girl. When she wants to be, lol. :)
I'm just kidding, she's cool... Tony isn't her real name but I won't use her real name, just in case people start to bug out on me.

D* is currently obsessing over some guy named Brandon. She is really needy and I'm not sure I can handle listening to it much longer. M* only left her 2 weeks ago, give or take a day. The whole thing is a mess. (I personally believe that D* should've kicked M* out on his ass instead of him leaving her, but what the fuck do I know?!) So M* is a lying, cheating, dirtbag. D* is emotionally broken, needy, irritated by her know-nothing family, and clingy as hell to this guy she's only chatting with...

*T's step-dad is an asshole, no news there. But he went way to far this last time. I mean, he almost wrecked her birthday and he had the nerve to kick one of their dogs!!! I was sooo angry when I heard about this. I haven't gotten to talk to her about it yet thanks to the trouble with our connections.
I wonder if she's having doubts about moving in September. I mean, I know I would feel bad leaving the little girls with someone who is so cruel/rude/an asshole... (her lil sisters) Knowing her, she'll still go.

Amanda is really irritated with the whole thing. Not that I blame her. She was really looking forward to celebrating Harry Potter Day... Not so much now that everything got effed up...

I'm tired, I won't sleep though because I slept for about 12 hours when I got home today. Oh well. I'm going to go listen to music and maybe write a song...?

Naturally,
Havoc

an email to my friend

Getting a job is past hard and now nearly impossible. i'm actually considering losing weight and becoming a stripper... not that anyone would hire me but it'd be better than nothing.
The whole thing with losing the internet leads to me writing more blogs and creating more vids for youtube. As if I didn't make enough already. I don't really update my blog that much though, so that's something. It's losing the phone that pisses me off the most. I may be a facebook whore, but that I can ignore/go to the library for. it's a bit more difficult to call someone to make sure ur plans are still on without a phone to do so... agh it's so irritating. losing the internet is hell on my sister though because it's the only way at all that she can converse with her friends. so it's like being shut away in a box, taped up, and locked in a dusty attic... totally alone and forgotten. as u can see, i understand her problem.
I didn't stop writing on purpose. I just lost my muse I guess. I couldn't think of anything to write about. Those stories are the last ones I finished. It was semi-important to me, yes. BUT the most important thing to me was-is-always will be : MY MUSIC... i may not be able to play any instruments but i sure as hell can sing my heart out. and i won't quit braggin bout it either. lol. i used to write my own songs but... they are starting to sound like something a thirteen year old would say. ugh. jonas brothers/hannah montana/beiber bullshit UGH... idk. maybe i can fuck around with the stuff later. maybe i'll even be smart enough to remember to send you an audio or 2.
You aren't the only one who needs to get her life straightened out and started... i don't think i'm putting it off so much as stuck in a rut where i don't have an outlet for anything. which sucks just as much. my friend is gonna teach me how to drive but idk when she'll have the time to do it. then i can HOPEFULLY get my license.
Right now, though. I just wanna go to Ren-Faire next weekend (i'd prefer this one but i'm not gonna be hopeful) and see Hob the Troll perform. LOL... (he's cute, too. for a troll.) and maybe i'll hang out with cameron, my cousin's boyfriend. he's a hottie but i'll be good. lol. since my cousin is psycho. i'm sooo not dating right now. half convinced i won't ever start again. everyone around here are total ass-hats, dumb-fucks, dirt-bags, morons, psychos, trash-talkers, or possessive... not to mention the insensitive, intolerant, prejudicial, religious loons...
i am sooo passing right now. unless the right person comes along but THAT will never happen. not around here, anyway...
okay, i'm rambling. time to shut up.
wbs,
alanda

Friday, July 16, 2010

little miss apathy

i am in the worst mood ever. people are fucking stupid. yeah, i don't care.
phoenix is leaving in september so... fun.

danielle and mark are no longer together b/c he cheated on her 3 times.

my family fucking sucks ass. and i hate everyone.
they can all jump off a cliff. every one. seriously. idc if that's unkind. just go the fuck away and leave me the fuck alone. if you can't respect me, then don't pretend you care about me...

Sarah is prego and due in December.
I may or may not be going back to college. I hate it there. But I hate it here too.

I just want to get the fuck out of this place. . .

at whatever cost necessary.

i don't care how much weight i have to lose.

i don't care if i have to be a fucking damned stripper at this point. i just need to get the hell out of here.

the world sucks. everyone sucks.

fuck you all. hasta!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

You Can Make it All True

First off, this blogpost's title is a line from a song by Cat Stevens.
I happen to think that if we really wanted to, then we could make it true.
----
Phoenix wrote a new song a few days ago but she wants to tweak it a bit before we mess with it together. I am writing a song but can't seem to get the mood right. Ameliorate is too busy preparing for her first semester of college to be bothered.
Technically, Ameliorate is our Model/Actress. She isn't actually a singer (though she could be) and that's fine. But it will definitely make things difficult when she leaves.

I am proud to say that Tsiehta Anomaly now has a fan-page on Facebook. I suppose that's supposed to mean something really great, but one can hardly tell nowadays.

The 2010 I.L.K. campaign officially started 2 weeks ago. There are several ads airing on youtube so if you search for "ilk" "i.l.k." "i love killey" "love killey" or "killey" you should be able to find them with relative ease.

I've been listening to a lot of dance music lately (of the latin persuasion) and I think that may be why I'm having such a difficult time with my punk/rock/anti-norm song writing... :/

I'm in a singing contest (without the band) and it's next weekend. So wish me luck!

Also, we will be performing (the band) at the U.C. park on Independence Day at 3 to 7 P.M. Hope to see you all there!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Wish that i was looking into your eyes

"cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even" - The Script

so how is everyone? i saw the CU play today. it was.... terrible. there were 2 good actors in the whole thing and that's it. u could tell they were looking at the prompter throughout it all. it was so bad it was funny. which is mean, but accurate. at least Dylan and Matt made it funny/worth seeing. wasn't worth the amount of money i paid for it though.

sav is stayin the weekend and that's nice. so yeah. i should be doing my homework but i figure i can put it off a little longer. *eek* i keep hearing a phone ring but it isn't. not my cell and not the landline so wtf?

mandy is watching Stargate Atlantis. i'm listening to Katy Perry and The Script.

i'm just wishing for something that'll never happen.

well. i can't wait to wednesday. ST PATRICK'S DAY! yaya....y.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

WOW! SO SORRY!

valentine's sucked sooo much.
got mom flowers.
and we watched horror movies.
that's it. yes we were e/o valentine.
GET OVER IT and KISS MY ASS if you don't LIKE IT....

college is a headache and i'm drowning in HW and i shouldn't be on here updating this but i thought i owed you all an explanation. plus i'm putting off the inevitable. i love my classes but the work is just beyond me and i feel like an idiot. i can't concentrate and it's really bringing me down. i have a new laptop thanks to finaid but still...

i can't wait til St Patty's Day... yay's to Green!

Phoenix AngelZ changed their name. they are now known as Tsiehta Anomaly... ROCK ON!!!! tell me what ya think!